I’m back.

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So after a hellish week of estimating a project, I’ve finally understood how it feels to be ‘devalued’. Last week, my boss made a fool out of me. I cried the whole morning because of frustration and anger. Later that afternoon he indirectly apologized to me by telling my friends that he was just pressured by the amount of work he’s handling and that he lost track of the work he disseminated to his team.

When I heard of it I gave them my infamous blank-look. That time I was still angry and was totally devoid of understanding. I couldn’t believe that my tatay-tatayan at work just did that to me. My mind keep on rewinding and forwarding things I did or said to him that might make me at least know why he suddenly turned hostile on me. Finally I gave up torturing myself and decided to get on with the work, finish it as fast as I can and then go back to the mock project.

One thing I’ve learned from this was to never ever let emotions get tangled up with work.

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I spend the weekend at a friend’s house. After a month and a half of not having a drop of alcohol on my system I wasn’t ready for the amount of beer I have consumed along with all the chocolates I gorged on as pulutan. After a few hours I ran straight to the bathroom and threw up all that I’ve eaten. It was a good thing for me ‘coz after a while I was hungry again and resumed eating the chocolates and cookies Kuya Oscar brought home. ^_^

At Work: I’ve been on the 3-week estimating team of an offshore project the company is bidding on. Right now, I’m finishing up the wire and conduit material take-off. I was the only one assigned on the wellhead platform to do the MTOs. This got me right back on design and I have a lot of things to catch up on, questions to ask, loads of drawings and references to read but I’m not complaining. It’s actually something to look forward to. ^_^

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Just realized that it’s been a month since I last went to the gym. Kaya pala I got this bloated feeling recently. The long hiatus from working out was because of things that came up that needed my complete attention and I couldn’t squeeze in extra time for it. Hus, nag-dahilan pa! ;p

Later, I fully intend to go straight to the gym after work and do 45 minutes on cardio and 25 minutes on the threadmill to make up for this sinful belgian chocolate cake I’m devouring right now (thanks, ms. Rissa!) Also, I promise to complete without cheating all 60 reps of my abs and light weights program.

So help me god.

Watched Dancer in the Dark last night. My boss suffered severe headache during the film (due to the erratic movements of the camera) and threw up in the men’s room. He decided not to continue and waited for us outside. Michelle though it was entirely funny while Raymond slept on it. Meanwhile, Mabz and I have our tearducts extreme workout.

I considered it one of the best films, though in all likelihood my friends would find it exasperating. What exactly made me like this film was its perfect portrayal and deep exploration of human despair, the suffering and loneliness of being a single mother (Selma), the fear of a husband losing his wife because of financial woes (Bill) and the feeling of being miserably in love (Jeff).

Belle, you should watch it and tell me what you think of it.

REAL

Excerpt from The Velveteen Rabbit
By Margery Williams

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but Really loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get all loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

I’m once again slowly plunging in the deep and dangerous waters called infatuation. Heaven, help me.

Quote Unqoute

"I would like to be the type of person who sees beauty in everything. I'd like to walk around, continually amazed at the precise perfection of rocks, roads, people, plants, and animals. Normally unappreciated things, like insects and weeds - that - grow - through - cracks - in - the - sidewalk, could live their lives happily--knowing that, were they to enter my field of vision, I would appreciate the hell out of them."



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i'm playing me now...


take a bow...

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Attended DDI Seminar: Valuing Differences all morning. The training seminar is all about helping individuals to understand the types of differences that make each person unique, the importance of accepting and encouraging these differences in terms what styles, abilities and motivations each person has.

The three major things that motivates me are achievement, camaraderie and variety. Well, those come after money, of course.