i've been reading archived ym conversations from k and i realized that life is not that colorful the time he was gone. he had touched my life in positively unspoken ways that his absence created a hollow space in me.

it seems odd because i was the one who let go of our friendship. and sadly, he agreed on his own reason.

i could have written him an email - how i missed our daily correspondence, his jokes, his patience in putting up with all my drama and kaek-ekan, his concern over me. i missed him badly. but alas, my pride is bigger than my longing.