Thursday night

We took the brother of V’s friend at a hospital somewhere in Cavite to have his circumsicion.

Last night I saw my Dad. He wasn’t a ghost or anything like that. He was a patient rushed through the emergency room. A patient who has my father's eyes, frail figure and all. When I first glanced at the patient he seemed unconcious. And then I turned again and suddenly he looked at me. And for a moment I couldn’t breathe. It was exactly the way my Dad looked at me. As the old man was being carried to the X-ray room our eyes held for a few seconds and it was like my real dad was there. And he's silently reaffirming that it's OK he's not nagtatampo because I wasn't there during his last moment. That I shouldn't feel guilty at all. That few seconds it felt like he was some place he's happy and I sensed his peace.

+++

Maybe I might have to do things his way of thinking. Maybe I shouldn’t whine all the time, demand too much, get affected by everything. It just won’t work. He doesn’t see things from where I’m looking.

+++