i've been reading archived ym conversations from k and i realized that life is not that colorful the time he was gone. he had touched my life in positively unspoken ways that his absence created a hollow space in me.

it seems odd because i was the one who let go of our friendship. and sadly, he agreed on his own reason.

i could have written him an email - how i missed our daily correspondence, his jokes, his patience in putting up with all my drama and kaek-ekan, his concern over me. i missed him badly. but alas, my pride is bigger than my longing.

i didn't hear anything from him anymore. not since last week after he begged to see me that weekend and i shut him off.
at last my kahibangan is finally over.

I have to end my long hiatus of putting my thoughts into words. My memory lapses are getting worse by the day. Oftentimes I have to think hard what I did yesterday, or what clothes did I wear the other day. It's disconcerting.

What's to become of me?