Weekend was great.

====

Friday night at four corners with X, Mau, Adam, V and my usual gimik buddies. I was planning on going home early to get ready for tommorrow's event when Mau asked me to arrange a "lakad" and convince Adam to come. Reluctantly I have become the PR person every friday night. I send a funky invitation via e-mail then get them to respond. I should be flattered since most won't even come if I wasn't going. I think maybe I'd better get paid for this. Might be a lucrative business. But really, its getting a bit tiresome, and next week I won't be playing that role again. Tsk. The things you do for your friends.

====

Saturday we were at Laguna for our community service on Habitat for Humanity. There were only 26 volunteers in which there were originally 50 persons who signed up. Some of the new grads have training while the rest has overtime. When we got there some of the units are built already. Last time we were there only 3 blocks of housing units were built. We (the ladies) were assigned in shovelling up a pile of gravel and fill half of the sacks lying beside the pavement. Two groups from the men were formed to pile up soil and the other group took turns carrying hollow blocks.

I was not in my best mood that day. I slept late and was still sleepy so I kinda have my bitch mode on. A couple of hours after lunch I volunteered to guard our things at the unit. I dragged Gene along so I could shut my eyes for a while.

After the back breaking work, we headed back to the office and took a bath. We were supposed to celebrate afterwards but somehow we were not in the partying mood afterall so we decided to get our ass home.

====

Sunday was Keyence's bday. Most of Kulafu's (Donna, Abbie, Bart, Lad, Renz, Bibot, and Janis) were there. Siempre ninong and ninang kasi kami lahat. There were hired clowns to entertain the crowd. We got some good laughs but I wouldn't hire them if I had my kid's bday party. Parang di wholesome ang dating nila.

Too bad i had to get home early because of work. Bart accompanied me at the MRT station. We talked (how-have-you-been-and-what-are-u-up-to kinda coversation)on our way to the station.

On the downside I was pissed off with the guards for not letting me bring the give away ball I had with me. Bawal daw because it's got oxygen in it. It might explode. Duh, it was an 8 inch diameter ball. I had the two minutes explaining to no avail. I was supposed to give it to Paulo pa naman.

ang cute!

Townhall meeting today.

Random notes from the meeting

Next Generation Platform
3.0 - Scorecard
40,000 manhours for Control systems teaming up with Camberley (TCO Project)


I'm off to glorietta today. Imma scout for a top for my IIF Presentation. They suggested a R&B hiphop outfit. Well I certainly hope we win. Im gonna spend precious moolah over a top that might be used once.

As usual, I overspend (a bit!) on my little shopping. Bought 2 pairs of jeans at whoops! (they're on sale and they fit me perfectly), a top (for the presentation!), and two blouse (they're cheap and i have nothing to wear at work anyways).

===

After malling, met up with marissa, larry, ricky and alex at w grill. Panay kulit namin kay Ricky na aminin niang me fiance niya. Ayun wala kaming napala.

Larry started recording all our conversation which I'm indisposed on giving details since I can't recall most of them.

For You
Kenny Lattimore

For you
I give a lifetime of stablility
Anything you want of me, nothing is impossible
For you
There are no words or ways to show my love
Or all the thoughts I'm thinking of
'Cause this life is no good alone
Since we've become one I've made a change
Everything I do now makes sense
All roads end
All I do is for you

For you
I share the cup of love that overflows
And anyone who knows us knows
I would change all faults I have
For you
There is no low or high or in between
Of my heart that you haven't seen
'Cause I share all I have and am
Nothing I've said is hard to understand
And all I feel I feel deeper still
And always will
All this love is for you

Every note that I play
Every word I might say
Every melody I feel
Are only for you and your appeal
Every page that I write
Everyday of my life would not be filled without the things
That my love for you now brings

For you
I'd make a promise of fidelity
Now and for eternity
No one could replace this vow
For you
I'd take your hand and heart and everything
And add to them a wedding ring
'Cause this life is no good alone
Since we've become one
You're all I know
And if this feeling should leave I'd die
And here's why
All I am is for you

Everything I do now makes sense,
All roads end and all I do...
Is for you
Only for you

May 21, 2004
A new sense of purpose and direction could come upon you today, mona, boosting your confidence and determination with regard to career and social matters. Where romance is concerned, communication between you and your significant other could wake you up to new potential within the relationship. You might find that you share more interests than you initially had believed. Enjoy your day, and make the most of whatever opportunities appear in any department of life.



a few things to remember before going to w grill...

1. must stay away from alex.
2. must squeeze myself in the middle of two girls
3. do not... ever... attempt to text or call v
4. do drink but stay away from alex
5. must stay away from the dance floor
6. if v dropped by - talk!

I-N-T-E-R-E-S-T-I-N-G

1. DO you fall in love easily?
yes... unfortunately

2. What makes you fall?
ewan

3. Are you the type who dumps? or waits to get
dumped?
ahahahaha...

4. Does your loved one love you? or did he/she?
that's the question....

5. Does he/she know you exist?
oo naman...

6. What made you fall for him/her?
*sigh*

7. Did you tell him/her you liked him/her?
kelangan pa bng i-memorize yan?! hwehehe. (why
am i answering dis?) hahaha. malamang alam na
niya ilang beses na ko ngmukhang-tanga e...

8. What did he/she say?
something like " di pinaguusapan sa phone yan" or " wrong timing eh " or " nakainom ka ba "

9. DO you think you stand a chance?
i did ... really... but i think i screwed the whole thing up

10. Will you give up?
it's more like accepting your destiny...(tama,
lanie..!!)

11. What if he/she likes another?
ok lang. ganun talaga ang life. pero laking kawalan nia hehe....

12. WOuld you still show him/her you care?
yes...

13. Do you believe in the concept of "falling
in love"?
of course. i'd gladly go through the whole
process again.

14. Is he/she still there for you now?
i don't really know....

15. Would you regret the time you admitted you
like him/her?
uhmmmmm... medyo

16. If you could change something regarding
your relationship or attraction to your
loved one, what would that be?
it shouldn't have been that ---

17. Do you think you'd be together?
highly unlikely probable

18. DO you believe in destiny?
yup.

19. What philosophy, quote, saying, etc mostly
applies to u ryt now?
kung kayo, kayo!!!! or else hindi kayo! walang in between!
hwahahahaha!!!!!

20. Any plans for commitment this year?
hmmm...

21. If that special someone is reading this
right now, what would you tell him/her?
pssssttt... namo! pakiss nga... lolz

p.s. kinopya ko lng ibang answers kay sandra, my
guru :)

forwarded mail...

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question
"What kind of man are you looking for?".

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking "Do you really want to know?" Reluctantly, he said "Yes.".

She began to expound..." As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself. I pay my own bills. I take care of my household with out the help of any man...or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask "What can you bring to the table?". The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought and stated "I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life."

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain. She said, "I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don't need a simple minded man. I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked... believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don't need a financial burden. I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman but strong enough to keep me grounded. I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy. God made woman to be a help mate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself."

When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said "You are asking a lot.". She replied "I'm worth a lot."

At our Toastmasters meeting I was assigned to be the grammarian for the day. I was also called for the impromptu speech. Table topic master Ricky asked me a question about how do I define love – love as holding on or love as letting go. Of course, I choose the latter. With my evaluation Ms. M recommended I expound further on my statement being fear and love as the two universal feelings. Have read that on Conversations with God by Welsh, I’ll probably have that as one of my speech or something.


===

Watched Dirty Dancing with Alex. No, it was not a date. I was really in the mood to watch a movie that day. V had overtime as usual, and we're having a little misunderstanding that afternoon. Cheryl, She and Ai were not available so I drag Alex at the movie.

It was a fairly good movie. I always liked films with dancing on it or singing and even skating theme on it(remember Ice Castle?).

===

Marah's wedding. Was raining hard so the ceremony was held at the reception instead of the pool.

V went along even if he just got back from his hiking, dead tired and haven't had enough sleep. He just finished doing his laundry then immediately went over at our house.

V told me I was his girlfriend. And boy was I deliriously happy that day.

We couldn't stop winking, blowing kisses and making pacute during the ceremony. I was made to sit at a separate table with the bridesmaid, secondary sponsors. It was really corny but we couldn't help it.

We were the sweetest couple in the room. much sweeter than the newlyweds.

My friends like him.

I’m going home early. Didn’t go home last night. Mom text early in the morning asking where the hell did I spend the night blah blah. Told half the truth. Oh, remind me that I have to withdraw cash. I’ll arrange on Ate Aida’s trip back here. Talagang kelangan na namin ng kasama sa bahay. With my sisters attending classes and all, wala kasama si mama with my nephew.

Friday

W grill with ate ai, che, alex, jojo, larry and marissa. we were very disappointed when we got there and found that the bull were to be transferred upstairs and is still under renovation. we were planning pa naman to take turns riding the thing.


Weekend

Was stuck around the house. It's been a week now since our househelp left for a vacation. By now my mom is painfully aware of the drawbacks of not having Ate Aida with us. There's Paulo that needs to be taken care of and to be watched over every minute, a house to clean, cooking and loads of laundry to do. Despite Mom's attempt that we go solo for a while to cut on expenses, she's starting to complain na how hard it was to manage the house. Saturday and Sunday my sisters and I took turns in babysitting Paulo. I cleaned the house a bit and do my share of cleaning the dishes.

Read The Catcher in the Rye. This book has a refreshing sense of humor.

I was about to write a snippet of thought i read in one of my notebooks when I found this piece of poem.

Kung gusto mong lumayag
wag mo akong isama sa alon...
wag kang magsasabing
ikaw ay makakabalik sa pangpang

kung ang bagyo ay sumabay
sa iyong pagdaong
marahil ay wasaking ang iyong bangka
at di na makabalik sa pinangalingan

kung sakali man may piraso ng iyong marka
humampas sa aking bangka
at di pa puno ang aking laman

ikay aking hahanapin
kahit mataas pa ang alon...

I knew from the handwriting that it's from bart. I called him after that, and asked if he wrote it. He said yes and he asked why. Told him wala lang i just wanted to know. I'm sorry, i'm sorry. I hope you find the girl that would truly make you happy.

last night - ms. riz and i headed for ortigas after work. was to up with peter, thess and marah for my invitation and gown. it was a bit early when i got there so i stopped by the bookstore and browsed around for new titles. a few minutes later peter texted that he's bringing along his boyfriend. when he found me at the general fiction section there was no sight of his companion. i was quite interested so i asked him about it. naghihintay daw sa labas. when we got outside si marlon lang pala. college classmate namin. waited for the rest of em at foodcourt. few minutes later web, marah and thess arrived. dinner at tokyo tokyo. marah gave us the invitation and my gown. i didn't like the gown that much. parang minadali na ang cheap pa ng pagkakagawa. and it's got sequins. =(

===

dami planong lakad for tommorrow. bridal shower ni marah. we might go sa gay bar. pero di pa finalized ang plan. dito naman sa opis they're brewing up a plan on going again sa w grill. nagrequest pa na ako daw ang mage-mail. sheesh... sasakay daw kami lahat sa bull. hehe.. sounds fun. but i have to wait for my college classmates kung tuloy yung bridal shower.

things to do this weekend:
+ find a copy of the nearness of you na instrumental (k help naman o please?)
+ manicure / pedicure
+ have my hair trim
+ bring gown to the laundrymat
+ facial
+ practice the piece i'll be singing on monday

pa-girl talaga! =p

May 12, 2004


Mercury continues to move through your opposite sign of Aries, giving you plenty to talk about. Your partner and loved ones have lots to contribute. It should be a great week for discussions. But of all the days, Monday has the greatest romantic potential, as Mercury also sextiles Venus in Gemini. Should you be going away somewhere exotic, you can expect to have a wonderful time. You could make great new friends, as well as lure a new lover or two your way. Conversations ultimately lead to deeper things, or if you happen to be on a business trip, to potential partnerships and moneymaking contracts. Venus will be staying in Gemini until July, and this will give you plenty of time to think about your foreign connections, and also find out about higher education programs that might appeal, for one reason or another. Mars has now moved into Cancer, and is whipping up a storm in your career sector. If things have been rather heavy and slow moving, you can expect to feel impatient and frustrated, and eager to improve the situation in all ways possible. But your enthusiasm may not pay off immediately. Don't get all hot and bothered - stay cool and take it all one step at a time.

====

just learned from a close friend that her friend, mel, knew v's ex. apparently, the girl was the stepsister of mel's hubby. what she heard from her friend was that v and the girl we're an a couple for like 4 years. the girl now has another boyfriend and from what my friend heard they're engaged. the funny thing about this is that the girl is in australia... and i suddenly remembered that v has been meaning to migrate there. one time he even showed me his papers.

i felt my hands gripping the handset shook. we never talked about our past relationship. well, now that i've mentioned it, we never talked about anything that concerns the two of us. our relationship, feelings with each other and obviously our past. well ok, given it's not about the girl kaya nia gusto mag-migrate dun. pero hello, what about me? past time while he's here. can i be just like that? maybe i should feel that way na lang... ganitong arrangement and everything. but the things is i can't. we really need to talk. pero kelan?

i'm fucking tired... @_@

last monday was brt's bday. other kulafu friends also dropped by - donna, abbie, janis, aries, adz, norman. the usual, inom. there was a liquor ban yesterday because of election but that that did not hinder us from celebrating. brt's friend smuggled two cases of red horse at the sari-sari store nearby. at around 9pm i stopped taking my tagay. di ko kayang makipagsabayan sa kanila. they're a bunch of hard drinkers. and besides i have work today and i coudn't afford a hang-over.

anyway, when it was time to go home -- pagkatapos ibungo ni brt ung car nila for the second time, bragging that he'll drop us off at P. Cruz, all of us took a taxi and dropped each other off. brt accompanied me home. my mom was still up, and was surprise to see him with me. since lasing na sia i offered him to sleep in my room while i sleep with my mom. then the inevitable conversation happened. i kept avoiding his questions - if i still love him? why do i keep on out of nowhere to call him the day he feels that he's finally ok and can now move on without me? why do i keep him hanging? i felt terrible. i couldn't look him in the eye. sobra na nga talaga ako. i mean, who am i to mess up with anybody's feelings like that? lalo na ke brt. ang dami naming pinagdaanan, he treated me well, molded his dreams for me, and i treated him like shit. i couldn't say sorry. how would that change everything?

i just saw myself for what i really am. a self-centered bitch. part of me is thinking that maybe i deserve the way v is treating me right now. does he know that i'm keeping two of 'em? i don't know. most probably not. but then who am i to just put him on spot asking him about our existing relationship or the lack of it when i'm still having my ex on the scene?

cleaning this mess i have somehow gotten into won't be easy. i don't want to lose both of them. last night, brt and i decided not to see each other for a while. he said we couldn't be friends for now. with v, i don't really know... though i do not have deep feelings for him yet i really liked him. and i hope we can move up our level of relationship... whatever that may be.